Some biography (and reflections on this earthwalk...)
I was born in February of 1948 in England (an Aquarius for those who
would want that info:>)). My family emigrated to Canada when I was 8.
I grew up in Hudson, Quebec and got my B.A. at Concordia University
in Montreal in 1971. I worked as a rehabilitation counsellor for four years
then obtained my Masters degree at McGill University. I was then at John
Abbott College in Ste. Anne de Bellevue for seven years as a therapist.
My former wife, our three daughters and I left Quebec
and came to Ontario in 1982.

Although I finished all the course work, examinations and internships for
my doctorate at O.I.S.E. (at the University of Toronto) in Applied
Psychology, I never completed the thesis. I then worked for a year at
Sheridan College and a year and a half at Queen Street Mental Health
Centre. In 1986 I started working as a psychotherapist at York Central
Hospital in Richmond Hill near Toronto. Since 2001, I live with my wife
in London, Ontario. After over 23 years there, I took early retirement
from YCH in late 2009. I now see private clients in my office in London,
Ontario for most of the week. On Wednesdays I now go in to see clients
in Richmond Hill - (renting an office from Dr. Zelina, Chief Psychiatrist
at YCH) at 29 Centre St. W. in Richmond Hill -
just north of Toronto, Ontario.

More personally, I'll start here by saying it's been a long time now that I
view the whole of my own life as therapy. This personal stance has
helped me considerably over the years. To me this makes particular
sense. If I am going to be offering others this framework of discovering
balance in daily life - I want to continually test it out on myself... Through
providing therapy for others I also have a continuing option of being
empathically engaged in their journey - thus learning along with them. So
instances of confusion, pain, joy, fear, curiosity or conflict all have
potential for me to learn - when I let them... Ahhh, and there's
the rub: as it's not always easy to do that!

When it's difficult for us to learn, I now look at this as our being caught
by some aspect of what I call the Autopilot self, some sub-personality - or
Persona - of ours that has an identification or need that is out of balance
with the whole of oneself. A frequent stumbling block like this are
varieties of the overly Accepting, Victim self... Being caught by such a
fragment, a part self, the work is to re-find a sense of enthusiastic balance
- a balance that that part of us lacks. The self Negating Victim has too
little power... another, the Pushing, Dominator part of us, has too much!
Health is re-established through finding the golden mean of moderation in
all things that is beyond the perspective of any one of
these Autopilot Personas.

Others have found this orientation helpful as well... To me this
perspective seems aligned with the essence of Buddhism and Taoism.

An instance of this discovering balance in daily life  is how creating this
website has been a personal therapy/evolution of meaning process for me.
In 2004 I started a blog which gave me a chance to start some of this.
Like, I guess, most others I was really enthusiastic for a while, but now
find it hard to keep up with posting to it! For a while I was enthusiastic
about using Facebook... and you can find me there still. Unfortunately it
is clearly now over commercialized.

I have long felt a need to put out to the world some of my thoughts,
queries and whatever wisdom I can offer. This present site took all of
that several steps further: it meant articulating deeper layers of what I've
found helpful to me - or to other people who have seen me for
psychotherapy over the years.

The life as therapy viewpoint really crystallized for me at the end my
seeing a psychoanalyst back about 25 years ago. I'd met with him four
times a week for a couple of years and it had been quite helpful.
However, I realized with a shock as I finished seeing him that the process
with him could have continued indefinitely it seemed. I realized then more
of how I am and want to be for my clients: fostering their reflections,
helping them find change that works for them based in their increasing
personal/spiritual autonomy.

Over time this realization has become a hypothesis or an
acknowledgement that we are each in a crucial deep relationship that we
don't usually think of ourselves as having. We are each in a relationship
with the self we see as who we are – some would call this between self
and Self… The natural evolution of this idea over the years is now an
underlying thesis for my work. You and I and our planet need a
harmonizing: a Waking Off Autopilot. We need to find our own version
of a clearing and cleansing of all the ways and layers the
Self can be in relation to it's selves...

In other words I believe we can strive for and eventually find a better,
more coherent relationship with all the myriad aspects of self. As you do
that you can start to feel a deeper peace: having a really good companion
for you: i.e. YOU! Who'd have thought you could be the parent or
partner or child part of self - for yourself - that you have wanted? Takes
time, my friends, but I assure you it's worth it!

Being a family, marital, group and workshop psychotherapist for all these
years has taught me that balance issue in spades. As I was first learning to
be a therapist, when I saw relationships which seemed obviously
unworkable and unsolvable, I was confused as to why anyone would
want to stay in such stuck relationships. I soon learned that if I tried to
Push the dynamics of such a relationship in one direction or the other I
would end up either being fired by them or else I would at the very least
end up only being minimally helpful. In contrast to that, what I watched
consistently being helpful, however, was when I could act to some extent
as an external symbol for a fair witness, a Balanced Observer position in
self  who shared his perceptions, thoughts or feelings with them. They
could then use that witness position to find more of that within
themselves as well as within their relationship with each other. It became
more and more that one of the couple members would say: "Oh, I hadn't
realized that that was why you were doing that (act that hurt me...)"

This website - as well as the Off Autopilot site - are overviews of what
makes sense to me in these ways - in print, pictures, diagrams, concepts,
mp3 meditations and so forth. Please contact me with any questions or
comments that you have. I have put what I can up here for free as a way
of paying back for having spent 40 years thoroughly enjoying what I do
as a therapist. At times I have reflected on my fortunate reality of being
able to do this fulfilling work and also get paid to do it! I look around and
find that an unfortunately high proportion of people are in jobs they hate -
or at best tolerate. Others are in positions they may like somewhat - but
their job is within an abusive style of work structure or they're working
with a boss who they cannot respect or does not respect them. For an
excellent documentary on that whole issue, see The Corporation.

In contrast to that, even when I moved for a while partly into managing -
being the coordinator of the hospital's adult mental health clinic for seven
years - I was able to find significant ways to continue learning and
growing. I feel lucky for that as well. I did step down from the
coordinator position however, because of the - to me - overly structuring
administrative duties. From that and many, many other instances of
hearing of how inhumane the corporate environment can be, my heart
goes out to people who juggle bosses above and people below them who
they are supposed to be bossy with... Most corporations are unfortunately
indeed focused around taking advantage of us or their customers -
all to maximize profit.

It seems no matter what place or relationship one is in, however, you can
be caught by the Autopilot's various aspects. The Victim sector always
put the Poor Me in every Pity Party I'd have. I am so grateful that my
struggle with that is so much less these days. I still find it amazing!
About me...
Freedom Associates Therapy
Barry Johnston-Spooner, M. Ed.